WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
