My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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