The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it was like eating out sand paper
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
