tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
