Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
