You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
