things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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