i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize