Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
