Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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