somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
