garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
