i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
