singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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