so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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