I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
