I will die if light touches me.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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