whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize