i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
