i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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