Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
