she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
