The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
