i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize