well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
