So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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