You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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