Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
