How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
ok first of all what the fuck
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
