you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
