I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
