i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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