well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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