no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
