And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
