I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
