they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
