nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Even my vagina gasped.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
