I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize