My Higher Power is John Stamos
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
