i don't like sucking hair
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
