Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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