what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
