just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
