Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
