Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we're making bets on your personal life
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
