Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
did i just pee glitter
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
