my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
