I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
