Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Randomize
