scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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