we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
