It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
