I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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