First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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