Dude my mom stole all your condoms
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize