This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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