Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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