Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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