you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
