just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
