Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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