dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
