theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
it's like heaven, but drunker
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
