I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
