he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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