there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
