If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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