Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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