I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
