Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
