doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
