Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The air taste purple.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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