This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
