dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
