I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
