i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
