Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he laminated a picture of his dick.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
