can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
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