You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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